Why the idea of "growing up" is nonsense

From the Vagabondish blog:

I read BNT’s recent post The Hardest Part Of A Journey Is Coming Home by Brendan Moran and found myself quietly, emphatically nodding along. Especially to bits like this:

Maybe I’m naive, but I was hoping for a “eureka!” moment on the trip where all of the sudden my life would make sense. I would find my calling and hopefully some peace.

Maybe I’d be on a boat somewhere watching the sunrise, or laying in a hut listening to frogs chirp outside: something cinematic.

While nothing quite like that ever happened, after a year away, I think I’ve become a different person. I’m more sure of what I want and less angry. I take better care of myself and I feel more in control.

… and this:

While we were gone I tried to stay unplugged and happily ignorant about pop culture and other non-weighty matters, and now that I’m back, I realize I should have done that a long time ago.

My interest level for “shallow things that do not matter” remains below zero.

Then, right at the end, Brendan pulled the rug out from under me:

The hardest part about travel isn’t coming back, it’s staying back. Sure, we can always take smaller trips that last a few days or weeks, but I can’t shake the idea of another long odyssey.

Responsibility keeps wanting to get in the way. Bills, a wife, and no money are waking me from my dream of riding a motorcycle across Asia.

I just don’t want to grow up yet.

Huh? The phrase “grow up” has always made my teeth itch.

What exactly does it mean? What’s the predefined, socially accepted, neatly-wrapped-up-in-a-cardboard-sandwich-box definition? Is it having a mortgage? A BMW? 2.3 kids? The perfect dog and a white picket fence? Sitting behind a desk for forty years in a perfectly starched, collared shirt and tie to feed your 401K in the hopes that maybe - just maybe - you’ll have enough saved to travel the world when you’re 65?

My girlfriend, her family, and more of my friends than I care to count seem to think “growing up” and “being responsible” are somehow synonymous. And it seems they’re not alone as Brendan’s wife would agree:

I just don’t want to grow up yet. A point of view lost on my wife who wants a family, a house, and no motorcycles. One can still dream, right?

To what and whom are we ultimately responsible? My only responsibility is to ensure that I and - to the extent that I have any influence - my family and friends are happy and healthy. Nothing more.

If one is happy with the aforementioned “grown-up” or “responsible” life with a BMW and a desk job, so be it. But if my personal happiness is found in a vague ’round the world itinerary and a one-way ticket to [fill-in-the-blank]-istan, what right does anyone else have deeming me irresponsible?

Aside from my parents, I haven’t told anyone of my RTW travel plans. But I know enough of my coworkers, extended family and girlfriend’s family to foresee the inevitable eye-rolling and know that their responses will be a collective mix of disbelief and tsk-tsk “You’re throwing everything away” condemnation.

The disbelief will of course only last until the moment they’re waving goodbye to me from a terminal at Logan Airport.

The condemnation on the other hand runs much deeper. And it all circles back to their limited ideal of what “growing up” is and the notion that it’s somehow irresponsible to step outside “the norm” to find happiness. I can’t see how anyone can be so narrow-minded as to think that there is some singular, objective goal of happiness towards which everyone must strive.

Why can’t they just accept another person’s choices, however different from their own those choices may be? Why must people be so judgmental of others?

I’ll never live vicariously through my own dreams or attempt to live up to someone else’s ideal of happiness. I, for one, reject the notion of “growing up” and I’m forever hanging up that phrase on the hat rack of hollow, meaningless lexicon.

As for responsibility, what could be more responsible than casting aside every thing and every place you’ve ever known for the opportunity to travel the world and see and do more than you ever dreamed possible - all in the pursuit of happiness? At the end of the day, that’s the only responsibility we have to ourselves and our families.

My Whole Life Has Been on Hold Until Now

Another inspirational comment by a likeminded person on the Travelpod network - this one sums up my feelings exactly regarding how people see travelling as "Putting your life on hold";

"Putting life on hold"...

It depends on your perspective really. By life do you mean your job, car, mortgage, day to day routine you are used to? Surely life should be more than that. When you find yourself travelling and experiencing things you only dreamed about back home; that's when you realise that your life has been on hold until now.

It is so very comforting to know others out there feel the same way, however I think we are very well spread out. Travel forums on the Internet seem to be the best way to find people who think like this. I certainly haven't met many in everyday life and I know most people that surround me on a daily basis (especially friends and family) would think the complete opposite to this person. I think that's sad really but to each their own I guess.

I'm not so different..

It's nice to see that there are plenty of other people that think the same way as me.

This was posted by Piecar on the BootsnAll Forums;

There are people who...

Don't want a condominium.Don't care about the new IKEA catalogue. Don't want a fancy car. Don't need stability. Don't want to have familiar things around them. Can't stand monotony. Hate the question "How Are You?" Hate the idea of seeing the same thing every day. Know that they are not meant to stay in one place. Do not desire a secure job. Never toe the company line. Realize that there is more world out there than they can ever see. Want to see every bit of that unattainable world. Chafe under any bit of harness that their lifestyle puts upon them. Knows that they can be more. Knows that they can be more TODAY!!! Feels squashed by the people around them who say that there is no other way. Know that there is another way, but can't seem to find it. Can see the other way, but can't seem to get there. Strive to get to another world, but cannot let go of the old one. Say what they mean. Like to listen to a confusing story. Never back down. Know there is ALWAYS ANOTHER ROAD. Think money is a means and not the end. Hate the idea of uninformed affluence. Can decide that they need a big change. Can accept that they were wrong. Can be right and STILL be wrong. Can realize that they are going the WRONG way. Throw everything to the wind, not afraid of how things will shake out. Have had things shake out bad, and STILL think that this is the right thing to do. Have taken a retarded risk. Have embraced a retarded risk without backpedaling. Welcomed a thrown punch as a Rite Of Passage. Entered into a situation, smelling a con, but trying to work it. Can go the RIGHT way, and then decide to go another way. Stood up, when every fibre of your being said "Sit Down". Said "NO!! when they wanted you to say "Yes." Looked down a rough looking street and saw experience and not a knife in your kidneys. Love their backpack. passed up on the fucking museum. Were not wishy washy to the tout. took a guy up on a possibly shifty proposition. Had a backup plan if things went south. Hung their ass out there, and got ready to fight. spent too much money on a local kid, and never got the thing they wanted because of it. Knew they got worked.....and took every bit of it in stride. Never thought that settling down was the right thing to do. Decided that they were a traveller, and that was all there was to it. Shouted "I am A Traveller" to their friends. and then shouldered their pack and took off.

Where the Hell is Matt?

Another inspiration video... funny too :)

Would You?

An inspirational collage that gives me goosebumps about travelling and makes me wonder why the bloody hell am I here?

Click Here