Not too impressed

I finally told mum today what I am planning to do regarding applying for the job at Dragoman. I don't think she was very happy about it but didn't say a heck of alot. I suppose there is very little that she can do apart from withdraw her offer of a free flight to the UK after I graduate. I will be slightly dissapointed if she and dad do not support me in this as it is my dream. It will be interesting to see what she thinks after the idea has sunk in after a week or so... stay tuned...

Last week I completed a course for my first aid certification. It is something I have wanted to do, not only because it is a requirement of the Dragoman job, but since I have been riding motorbikes I thought it would be a good idea to be first aid certified. The course was not too bad, most of the people attending had been sent rher eby there work and there was fair proportion of loud mouth know-it-alls on the course (me included :)). I received my certificate in the mail today so I am happy that is doen and one more think ticked off the list.

Also I have been going crazy selling stuf fon Trademe to raise more money. After two weeks I have made just over $2000, selling guitars and guitar amps as well as a heap of DVD's, CD's and books. I still have quite a bit to sell and hope to make another $2000 before i'm done. Basically I have already earned enough to complete my truck drivers course so I am very happy about that.

Finally, today was my last lecture in my undergraduate career. Didn't really feel much, just want to get the damn BA over and done with. I have one more major assignment to do and then 3 exams and that could be the end of my university career. I think that if I am not successful with the Dragoman thing I will probably return to university in 2008 and do my History honours. Just have to see how things work out.

Anyway, I am still waiting to hear back from Dragoman after I sent my application last week. I figure that it should be arriving in the UK from today onwards then I just have to wait and see what they say. I got a nice e-mail from the lady there I rang and spoke to regarding truck driver licences so I'm hoping that they will action things quickly and let me know whether I should be heading to the UK for an interview soon. Also, Debbie from Dragoman said they could arrange for me to have my intital interview and the two week interview scheduled at about the same time so I do not have to fly back to the UK in between. Sounds good.... I still can't wait... but I guess I have to try and concentrate on uni and motivate myself for my final exams.

Things get more confusing and a major step

I spent a fair amount today surfing the internet trying to figure out exactly what is required for the truck licences required for the overland driver job. The UK's system seems so wildly different to NZ's system that it may be better to try and do the licences there. The only problem is figuring out exactly which licences I need to take. And the cost!! Oh the cost!!! It looks upon initial inspection that it may cost around 3000 pounds which is about $10000 which seems to be a hell of a lot more than I've got. I guess I can cross that bridge if I come to it... they must be desperate for drivers if this is how much it costs!!

On a more positive note, I sent off my application form today after spending ages making sure it was as good as I can get it.... about the only thing I think that I am weak on is that I haven't done any travel over the last 5 years. Apart from that it is good. I think I will at least go to an interview in the UK if I am offered one and the two week interview if I can schedule it for the same trip and if they want me. Then I guess I will clarify exactly what licences are required, how much it costs and if they offer me a job figure out if I can afford to do it then. Phew!! This is going to be a bloody lot harder than I ever thought it would be.

Now I sent of my application I can't wait to hear back... I figure they will get it in a week or 10 days and I hope they are so impressed with me that they call me straight away to beg me to fly to England for an interview! I wish!! Fingers crossed... it's out of my control now.

What cost my dream?

Well I'm still breathing pretty heavily after signing myself up for an $800 course to sit the first stage of my truck driver license. That's a crap load of money for a poor student. I suppose that even if I don't succeed in obtaining my dream an ability to drive trucks is still relatively useful.

Best keep this expenditure to myself for a while. I don't think the family would quite understand why I'm doing this.

Think I might have a nice cold beer now.

Another small step and a concern debunked

Just a small wee step towards my dream today. I visited my doctor and he completed the medical certificate that I will need to obtain my heavy truck licenses. I also spoke to him about my plans and whether he had any concerns with the possibility that I could spend up to 9-12 months of the year in the third world. I asked because of the likelihood that I will develop the same PKD (Polycystic Kidney Disease) as my father and I need to monitor certain things. My doctor expressed no concerns what so ever with my plans as long as I continued to monitor blood pressure, protein absorption in urine and creatinine levels at least once a year. He also said it was an excellent idea to follow my dream now rather than waiting until much later in life when I may be unable to travel if I develop PKD and need dialysis in 20-30 years time.

A good day... I feel a lot happier now. I think I will book the first stage of my truck license this week after U have written an annoying essay for my politics class on war crimes.

My Whole Life Has Been on Hold Until Now

Another inspirational comment by a likeminded person on the Travelpod network - this one sums up my feelings exactly regarding how people see travelling as "Putting your life on hold";

"Putting life on hold"...

It depends on your perspective really. By life do you mean your job, car, mortgage, day to day routine you are used to? Surely life should be more than that. When you find yourself travelling and experiencing things you only dreamed about back home; that's when you realise that your life has been on hold until now.

It is so very comforting to know others out there feel the same way, however I think we are very well spread out. Travel forums on the Internet seem to be the best way to find people who think like this. I certainly haven't met many in everyday life and I know most people that surround me on a daily basis (especially friends and family) would think the complete opposite to this person. I think that's sad really but to each their own I guess.

I'm not so different..

It's nice to see that there are plenty of other people that think the same way as me.

This was posted by Piecar on the BootsnAll Forums;

There are people who...

Don't want a condominium.Don't care about the new IKEA catalogue. Don't want a fancy car. Don't need stability. Don't want to have familiar things around them. Can't stand monotony. Hate the question "How Are You?" Hate the idea of seeing the same thing every day. Know that they are not meant to stay in one place. Do not desire a secure job. Never toe the company line. Realize that there is more world out there than they can ever see. Want to see every bit of that unattainable world. Chafe under any bit of harness that their lifestyle puts upon them. Knows that they can be more. Knows that they can be more TODAY!!! Feels squashed by the people around them who say that there is no other way. Know that there is another way, but can't seem to find it. Can see the other way, but can't seem to get there. Strive to get to another world, but cannot let go of the old one. Say what they mean. Like to listen to a confusing story. Never back down. Know there is ALWAYS ANOTHER ROAD. Think money is a means and not the end. Hate the idea of uninformed affluence. Can decide that they need a big change. Can accept that they were wrong. Can be right and STILL be wrong. Can realize that they are going the WRONG way. Throw everything to the wind, not afraid of how things will shake out. Have had things shake out bad, and STILL think that this is the right thing to do. Have taken a retarded risk. Have embraced a retarded risk without backpedaling. Welcomed a thrown punch as a Rite Of Passage. Entered into a situation, smelling a con, but trying to work it. Can go the RIGHT way, and then decide to go another way. Stood up, when every fibre of your being said "Sit Down". Said "NO!! when they wanted you to say "Yes." Looked down a rough looking street and saw experience and not a knife in your kidneys. Love their backpack. passed up on the fucking museum. Were not wishy washy to the tout. took a guy up on a possibly shifty proposition. Had a backup plan if things went south. Hung their ass out there, and got ready to fight. spent too much money on a local kid, and never got the thing they wanted because of it. Knew they got worked.....and took every bit of it in stride. Never thought that settling down was the right thing to do. Decided that they were a traveller, and that was all there was to it. Shouted "I am A Traveller" to their friends. and then shouldered their pack and took off.

Every Great Journey Begins with a Single Small Step

Well today I did the first thing towards achieving my dream. I booked my First Aid Course which is one of the requirements to becoming an overland driver. It feels good to actually do something substantial, rather than just thinking and talking about it. Pretty exciting eh? I also feel slightly nervous.... like I just started on something huge and I have no idea how it will turn out.

Next big step will be to book the first stage of my Heavy Truck license... now that's a REALLY big step, cause it will cost me around $800! Wow..... my only real concern about not being able to achieve my dream is health worries. I am sure I will be fine but I do have a nagging doubt that the blood pressure medication I am on may be seen as an issue by any potential employer. My blood pressure can be high but generally the only reason I have to manage my blood pressure is that it will help delay the onset of the PKD that my father has, hopefully to around 20-30 years from now. Maybe more. We will see. I guess all I can do is my best and not worry about the things that are beyond my immediate control.

First steps.... cool... i'm thinking this will be one hell of a journey.

Brian

I work only one day a week due to my being a full-time student. This Saturday just gone when I got to work I was told some very sad news. A co-worker of mine, Brian, had passed away the previous week. Brian had worked the previous Saturday, complained of a headache on Sunday and gone to his doctor, things escalated quickly and after a scan he was told he had a brain tumor and they needed to operate immediately. Brian underwent brain surgery on Sunday night however he lapsed into a coma following the surgery. Brian's family decided to take him off life support three days later and he passed away peacefully.

I didn't know Brian very well but he was a vital man in his early forties who had an active lifestyle and was well respected by everyone tha the worked alongside. I'm not sure if he had kids but I had met his wife at work functions. Brian's death really has made me think about how fragile life really is. At any moment your own life, or the life of those close to you can be taken away with little or no warning. Brian's passing really emphasises to me how very important it is to follow your dreams with a passion and not put things for a future date as there is a chance you may not be around. It is very sad to hear about the death of people before their time. Brian your passing has affected me strongly, my condolences to your friends and family.

RIP Brian.

I must be scared...

... to live my life the way that I want. I still haven't reached my personal nirvana if not giving a shit about what people think about me, and perhaps, just telling them that the way that they live their lives is not what I choose for my own.

Revisiting this I am maybe being a little bit unfair on myself, I'm not in a position right now to do exactly what I want. But I think, after I graduate in July, that if I continue on not following my heart then I can more accurately call myself scared.

Looking back I've always seemed to exist on the fringes of acceptability of society. I never have been or even want to be an outlaw but have rejected the 'norms' that society dictates makes up a successful life.

I have only had one 'proper' job but I left that to go travel around Africa. I am a student at age 33 and I live at home with my parents. I have no girlfriend (or "partner" as "grown-ups" say) and no prospect of having one. I don't want to own my own home and don't feel a need to save for retirement and 'settle down'.

I think when people look at me they see a failure, or at best someone not quite as good as them who wants but can't get what they have. I don't consider myself a failure, I am certainly unfulfilled and am not doing presently what I wish I could but I definitely have started the journey. The first crossroads is in July when I finish University... this will indicate to me what I am made of and whether I can really be true to myself.

Why is having a mortgage, a proper career and a life partner a measure of success in society today? Why are people who reject this looked down upon? Is it because people are scared by those that reject the trappings of society that they value so highly?

My goal is to be happy, and to do this I must be true to myself and not subjugate my desires for what "others" think that I should be doing. Even when these "others" are those that I love and respect. It is not easy to attempt to live a life that is less travelled. It is kind of exciting and scary at the same time because I really don' know if I will succeed. I can try though...

Where the Hell is Matt?

Another inspiration video... funny too :)

Would You?

An inspirational collage that gives me goosebumps about travelling and makes me wonder why the bloody hell am I here?

Click Here

You Fat Bastard!

I eat far too much! Tonight I had a huge plate of Chicken Biriyani with added veges, a huge baked apple for desert, 6 prunes and about 5 mini samoosas. Later on I have pretty much decided I will destroy an entire packet of squashed fly biscuits. I think I need to start moderating the size and quality of my food intake before I start becoming a tad chubby.

"Settle down! Save for Retirement!"

Damn am I sick to death of hearing this from my parents. I am only 33 years old, why do I need to do this? I refuse to live in fear for what may or may not happen to me in 30 years time.

The last thing I really want to do at the moment is 'settle down', I am just beginning to understand what it is that I want to do and it is pretty much the opposite of settling down. I guess I just don't have the same motivations as many other people my age (and my parents), the acquisition of 'stuff' is just not of prime importance to me, I don't particularly want to own my own home and don't have a desire to work in an office job earning $100k a year saving 10% towards my retirement.

I guess my father's illness has emphasised these thoughts in my head. He has PKD (Polycystic Kidney Disease) and is on peritoneal dialysis, after working hard all his life he know has low energy and has to be hooked up to a dialysis machine every night. It is a genetic condition and the chances are very high that I will get it. I already have many cysts on my kidneys and it's just a matter of seeing how quickly or slowly things develop. So I think it is important to carpe diem as much as possible while I still have my health because who knows what state I may be in in 10-30 years time.

The people that I do know that are settled down with good jobs, homes and partners really don't seem any more happy than I am. I think it is all relative and all things considered I am pretty happy with where I am at right now. I just have concerns over where I will be heading over the next 2-5 years and some serious thought is in order. Hence, why I started this blog, to help me work thinks out.

I think i'm only just scratching the surface of this topic, it requires more organised thought (this is more of a reactionary rant) and a critical approach before I can work out exactly how I feel about this 'settle down' thing that haunts me.

This above all, to thine own self be true

It has been quite a while that I have considered having a blog. I have had a livejournal for quite some time but never get around to updating it. Perhaps it is because people that I know read it and maybe I just need somewhere to record my thoughts and work things out for myself rather than trying to write for a perceived audience.

Last night I was trolling through the boards on the Boots n' all forums and came across a post from a few years ago about a girl saving a puppy from being beaten to death by children in Mali. All I wanted was to see a picture of the puppy so I clicked on the link for her blog. What I read there moved me to a great extent. Kinga was fulfilling a lifelong dream, travelling around the world for five years before she succumbed to cerebral malaria in Ghana in 2006. Recently I have been giving a huge amount of thought to following my dreams and not trying to please other people in the choices that I make. Kinga's blog really confirmed for me that I have to follow my dream, or at least give it a damn good try.

To this end, I will be investigating how to become an Overland Truck Driver, I have sent off an e-mail to Dragoman to see how much of the recruitment process I can complete in New Zealand before I have to fly to the U.K. If I am successful in following this dream I will have to spend a huge amount of money whilst getting next to none in return if I get the job. That is simply not important to me, such a job will be a fulfillment of many desires I have had; I don't fit in to the "mainstream" of society that values success in terms of a dollar value, I have a huge passion for travel, for people, new cultures and Africa and can see this job making me very happy.

Probably enough now for an initial post, i'm thinking this blog will be a disjointed affair with infrequent posts on issues that are in my heart, mind and soul at the time.

If any one does accidently find what i've written I would appreciate you leaving a comment with your thoughts.